A Living History: Anne Gates on Friendship, Tradition, and Change at Stony Brook Garden Club (2025)
- Jul 7
- 6 min read
When Anne Gates joined the Stony Brook Garden Club in 1995, she remembers being both excited and ready to learn.
“I’ll never forget the new members’ tea,” she laughs. “It was at Sue Dyckman’s home. There was a long dining table laid out with 2 silver tea services, ladies wearing white gloves serving the tea, the works. I was terrified I’d spill my tea in its china cup and saucer because my hands were shaking! Everyone seemed so much older and more formal back then. It was still ‘Mrs Gates’, ‘Mrs Wislar’ and ‘Mrs Aldrich ’ in the membership book.”
Anne was in her forties at the time, working, and Audrey Gates, her mother-in-law, had encouraged her to join. “She said, ‘You’ll never meet anyone if you go to work at seven and come home at seven.’ And she was right. It turned out to be a wonderful way to meet people of all ages.”
A Changing Club
In the mid-1990s, the club was shifting from that older, more formal generation to a younger, more hands-on one. “There were very few people in their thirties and forties when I joined,” Anne recalls. “But then Meg Gorrie, Laura Hanson, Tracey Gates, Elizabeth Wislar, and Katherine Toland joined - and the energy changed. We were all friends or became friends through the club. Suddenly, everyone wanted to dig in the dirt again.”
Anne became president from 2003 to 2005 and remembers encouraging small ways to build connections. “We had a suggestion that after the business meeting, you would change seats so you met someone new. Some of my closest friends came out of those seat changes.”
Rooted in History: The Rockingham Project
One of the most defining parts of the club’s story for Anne was its decades-long stewardship of the historic gardens at Rockingham, George Washington’s final Revolutionary War headquarters.
“Rockingham was a big part of the club’s identity,” Anne says. “It had been our project since the 1950s. By the time I joined, members like Barbie Delafield, Angie Austin, Audrey Gates, Sheila Stuart, Janet Haring and so many others had already done incredible work there. The house and gardens were moved three times. In 2001, the house was moved to its current location. Our task was to make the gardens historically correct. We had meetings, did research and took field trips to Monticello, Plymouth Plantation and Phillisburg Manor to learn as much as we could about gardens and plants. We grew plants from seed, purchased more and gathered a robust crew to accomplish a new garden. The Grand Opening was wonderful! “If you plant it, they will come.” SBGC members, families, board, staff, politicians and friends were all there. It was a special sunny celebratory day!
Members happily maintained the beds, and the garden thrived. The club raised money and was awarded GCA NJ Committee grants to support it.
Sadly, over time the project became harder to sustain. “It was heartbreaking when we had to give it up,” she says. “It was such a testament to the teamwork and ethos of the club. But things move on and evolve and interests change.”
Still, Anne believes the legacy of Rockingham is worth celebrating. “We brought history to life. It wasn’t dusty or boring. It was a living history of friendship and achievement, working together as a club for the community and having fun while doing it.”
A Community of Friendship, Teamwork and Learning
If there’s one theme that runs through Anne’s reflections, it’s connection. “Years ago, we used to just get together for coffee or a walk to talk about garden club things. Three or four people would walk and talk and share ideas. That’s how you build a club,” she says.
Anne remembers the Zone IV “Zone Show” hosted by SBGC and The Garden Club of Princeton, in 2016, as a true test of teamwork, endurance and ingenuity. She was Chair of the Flower Show which had an amazing 400 plus entries. It was a chilly day, the overwhelming participation, talent and sense of humor warmed us all up!
When you bring stories like these from the club’s history into the present, I hope you inspire the membership. They realize they’re part of a great tradition,” says Anne.
That sense of continuity extends to the club’s culture of learning. “I’ve always said garden club is about a yearning to learn,” Anne reflects. “You start out not knowing much, and then you learn from each other. Anne practiced pronouncing latin plant names before her first horticulture report. Everyone starts that way. Then, one day, you find you’re teaching someone else.”
A Life Enriched by Garden Club
Anne’s own journey within the garden club has extended beyond Stony Brook. “Even though I was working, I said yes when the Garden Club of America asked me to take on roles. I’ve been a Zone Chair, Scholarship Vice Chairman on the Nominating Committee and more. I’ve met incredible people and done meaningful work.”
Whilst serving on the Scholarship Committee, Anne particularly enjoyed meeting young scholars. “One student even called to ask if I would sit in on her thesis presentation. She was an artist as well as a horticulturist. Her work was extraordinary. It’s such a privilege to play a small role in supporting the next generation.”
She smiles. “People always ask, ‘How much does the job pay?’ and I say, ‘Nothing!’ But it’s worth everything in friendships, in experiences, and in purpose. I’ve visited gardens all over the country, met scholars, made friends far and wide, and all the time learning so much. It’s given me a community for life.”
Looking Forward
Today, in 2025, Anne is a very active Sustainer. She is as passionate about gardening as ever. Just this month she started a native meadow on her property. “It was something my husband, Bill and I had been thinking about for a while,” she says. “ After we had an inspiring speaker talking about re-wilding at our September meeting this year, 2025, we just decided to go for it. We collected seeds from natives in our garden, mixed in native grasses, and some other wildflower seeds. We’ll see what comes up. It’s part of that same spirit of learning, experimenting, doing something that connects you to the land.”
Her advice for the club’s next generation echoes her own experience: “Keep sharing stories. Keep learning and trying something new. Keep getting your hands dirty. Because what you’re really growing here isn’t just plants, it’s community, history, the love of nature and of making something beautiful together.”
Anne has been part of the backbone of SBGC for decades. She has brought warmth, humor, fun, and a lifelong commitment to learning, friendship, and service through garden club life.
Anne Gates: Stony Brook Garden Club Milestones
1995 Joined Stony Brook Garden Club, encouraged by her mother-in-law to meet new people and become involved in the community.
1996–1998 Treasurer, SBGC (first leadership role).
1998–1999 Co-Chair, Conservation/NAL.
2000–2001 Co-Chair, Horticulture.
2001–2003 Vice President, SBGC.
2003–2005 President, SBGC. Known for fostering inclusivity and small traditions that built community spirit.
2005–2006 Co-Chair, Horticulture.
2006–2008 Zone IV Chair, GCA.
2007–2008 Judging Chair, SBGC.
2008–2009 Treasurer, SBGC.
2008 Became a GCA Horticulture Judge and joined the GCA Board of Associates Members (Zone IV).
2009–2011 Awards Chair, SBGC.
2010–2012 Zone IV Awards Representative, GCA.
2011–2013 Historian/Archivist, SBGC.
2012–2014 Zone IV Director, GCA. Also Liaison to committees: Judging, Founders Fund, Library, Scholarship.
2013–2014 Zone Director Liaison (Hospitality, Scholarship).Over the years - Led horticulture workshops in Zone IV and beyond (Bulb forcing, propagation, Road to the Ribbons, pruning).
2014–2016 Zone IV Representative, GCA Nominating Committee.
2017–2019 Vice Chair, GCA Scholarships (Coastal Wetlands, Urban Forestry, Freeman Native Plant).
2017–2021 Historian/Archivist, SBGC - created “Thanks for the Memories: 1939–2021” history write up.
2019–2023 Vice Chair, GCA Scholarships (Environmental Studies, Keller Conservation Horticulture, Freeman Native Plant, and more).
2024-2026 GCA Scholarship Committee, Scholarship Review Committee Member.
2020s Championed the Boys and Girls Club of Trenton Garden Project; secured a GCA grant and encouraged SBGC’s active involvement in children’s garden education.
Today Active Sustainer, Horticulture Judge, and valued GCA Committee Member.
A passionate native plant advocate, she recently created a meadow at her home.
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